ANNACIRCLES - [Hastily] 匆匆

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.

–by Bessie Stanley, often inaccurately attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

All the Ivy League admission decisions come out today after 5:00 P.M. There’s tension and nervousness in the air all around, especially for my close friends who are waiting to hear from them. Even thought I thought I have found the perfect school at Washington University in St. Louis, I’m still curious as to which ones I have gotten into.

Like the nerd that I am, I am online before the decision, trying to soothe everyone’s and my own nerves. And I saw this:

As you probably have heard, this year Harvard received thousands more applications than ever before in its history. At the same time, Harvard is expecting its highest yield ever, and it also is reducing the size of its freshmen class.

All of this will occur at a university that is one of the world’s most respected and sought after, and also historically is a place where the head of admissions has said that 90% of applicants have the stats and academic background to qualify for admission.

So…. a reminder not to pin your self esteem and predictions of future success - on whether or not you get a congratulations letter or e-mail from Harvard,

The overwhelming odds are that if you applied to Harvard, you were rejected. If so, that doesn’t mean that you are a failure. For you to have had the confidence and background to apply to Harvard means your stats are likely far ahead of the overwhelming majority of students in the world. So, if you consider “success” to be how well one has done academically, you meet that standard of “success.” In fact, many students would consider you to be enviable simply because you had the grades to be able to apply to Harvard, something that most students would joke about, not be in contention to actually do.

More than likely, if you are a person rejected by Harvard, you have at least one acceptance from a school ranked tier 1 by U.S. News, something that is out of reach for most students in the country. Whatever school you end up going to, be kind to yourself and to others by not acting like going there means you are a failure. What may be your safety or match school is many students’ dream school — a dream that many students were not able to achieve, and they are just as disappointed about their rejections as you are by Harvard’s.

If you are waitlisted, congratulate yourself for getting an extra look, and then put your attention on whatever schools did accept you. Fine to accept Harvard’s waitlist, but view it as a very long shot. Historically, Harvard puts thousands on the waitlist, and sometimes no one comes off. Other times 40 may come off it. This year, given Harvard’s new marvelous financial aid, you might as well be as pessimistic as possible, so fall deeply in love with one of the colleges that accepted you. If you win the waitlist lottery, you always can fall in love with Harvard again.

And if you were accepted, congratulations. Do realize, however, that getting into Harvard doesn’t mean that you were smarter or better than was everyone who was waitlisted or rejected. Given Harvard’s desire to create a campus that is diverse in all meanings of the word (including ECs, religions, countries, regions, socioeconomic status, political and sexual orientations), some factors beyond your control probably helped you get in, just like such factors led to others’ getting rejected or waitlisted.

Whether you were accepted, waitlisted or rejected, whatever college you end up going is likely to be a place where you meet a professor who inspires you, a student who becomes your lifelong close friend, a student who you fall in love with for a season or for a lifetime. You’ll probably dive into some activity that changes your life and your perception of yourself and the world. Wherever you go, more than likely some day in the future, you’ll remember those college days as some of the best in your life.

So, whatever you hear from Harvard, keep in mind the following definition of success, because in the long run, the following is what will really count in your life:

To laugh often and much;

To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;

To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;

To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.

This is to have succeeded.
–by Bessie Stanley, often inaccurately attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson

Posted with affection by Northstarmom, a Harvard grad who was rejected by 3 out of 4 grad schools where I applied for my doctoral training. The one that accepted me, a second tier private university, was the school that was my safety when I had applied to college. I got my doctorate at that second tier university, and remember my graduate experience there — academics and friendships — as the highlight of my life — outdoing my Harvard experience.

May our dreams come true.