My gorgeous future home for the next four years (click to zoom in).
Thinking back on my life, it really seems like I’ve never had any trouble. Our family isn’t rich, but I’ve never starved. If I really wanted something, I can always get it through my own effort and hard work. I’m introverted and quiet, but I have more friends than I ever imagined. I thought that I could never get a good score on the SATs, but I was content with it. Some parts of me always thought that I will end up at state schools like IU (not that they are bad), but I’m going to one of the most prestigious universities in the world. I never thought about how smoothly my life has been until now; I’ve experienced no major hardships.
The only reason I can find is that I am easy to please. I can smile at the slightest happiness, and perhaps that’s why life has treated me so well. I know these all sound like I’m trying to brag, but it’s how I truly feel.
If I look into the future, all I see is the path that I project for myself. I’ve had one and only one dream in life, and that is to become a doctor. I never had the arguments within myself about what to do with my life or what to major in. Sometimes I regret being so determinate; sometimes I wish I can be any other teenager, now knowing what I want to do with my life and be reckless for once.
I’m sensitive, but I’m not unreasonable. I get drawn into the moment a lot, and I am emotional and cry a lot. But no matter how angry I get, I always get over it within a few hours. I get lonely easily. I often feel left out, and that makes me want to shrink away and be alone more. But no matter how much I want to, I always force myself to come out of my shell. And that’s always when I realize how much my friends love me, in ways quite different from how I expect. I also get jealous of everything. But I can always find a reason to convince myself that I have qualities that no one else does.
To get narcissistic, I love the way I am right now. I admit that I have tons of negatives, but I don’t ever want to change. This is who I am. This, right here.
10 Comments
You just voiced my own inner thoughts perfectly. My fellow Chinese nationalist, we are more alike than I thought … both in personality and situation in life. =] I was already feeling happy just now, and reading this post just made me happier. Thanks! ^^
haha, you are my other self across the border! XD I know what you mean, it was my feeling when I read all the things you advocate for in your “author” page ^^
Some of that is true for me. And your future home looks super nice. I wish I could live alone for college.
Haha same here. We’re really alike in a way. I know I’ve got flaws and such, and I’m not afraid to admit it, and I also don’t want to change who I am.
The slight difference between us I guess is my fiery temper
But then compared to when I was younger, my temper has died down a lil ;)
Being a doctor is one of the most typical job Azns would go after ;) Mostly due to parents and such. As for me, my parents are against that idea
so yeah XD They’re fully supportive of my choice to be a software engineer / teacher 
it’s good to have such good dreams! i used to dream of being a pharmacist but i finally through it out the window when i found out i just didn’t like it for the right reasons.
and it’s good that you accept who you are! i finally came to terms with who i am only last year but i do love my personality and my interests. i wouldn’t change them for the world =]
i need to put your link up =o
You’re lucky… you’re one of those well BALANCED people… but moving away will be a huge change, and a shift in responsibility. Take it easy, and remember that nothing is too big to solve. Best of luck in your new home!!
Looks gorgeous from the pictures!
I think alot of people think like that hun, but not everyone is willing to voice it. you’re very brave! and you should feel proud of all your hard work. i was smart in school, smart enough to get by w/ little effort.. which is worse in the long end i think. sometimes i think if i had been forced to work harder, i’d be in a better situation than i am right now.. but.. can’t think of all the “what if’s” in life, right???
I’m super excited for you!
I think you’re pretty great myself. I think everyone have false and if they’re able to recognize them, then they are pretty well on their way. =]. We all are set on a journey and I’m glad you felt like yours is worth the while. I think that’s all we can ask for. =]
Hey, that’s great! You’re lucky, you already know exactly what you want to become, well I have an idea and also a direction but it’s still pretty vague. Yeah, I sometimes feel like being left out too, but then I call my friends and it makes me feel better haha xD You’re chinese? Me too! =D Btw, your music play list made me download that album of SJ, I still prefer TVXQ though xD *runs*
And one more thing: http://Uchiki.DE moved to http://Uchiki.NET Could you please update the link on your site? Thank ya! ¦D
Yina - haha, SJ is totally more awesome than DBSK XDXD -gets punched- I’ll get the link changed right away.